Giving Thanks

At this point in my life, I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of a precipice. For as long as I can remember, my life has revolved around the goal of becoming a veterinarian. School, volunteering, studying, exams, working at clinics, obsessing, planning, and everything else. To think that in less than six months that part of my life will be over is both terrifying and exhilarating. Finally, my life can really begin. No one could ever say I postponed life through school, however. My goal was always to get through veterinary school with a sense of perspective--if I died the day after graduation, I wanted not to have any regrets about what I didn't do because of school.

The last time I felt this way was the spring/summer of 2005. I had been accepted into veterinary school, I was set to marry the love of my life, and he had gotten an excellent position at a well-established company in Boise. I could feel the gears in my life grinding and shifting as everything changed, and had that wonderful feeling that anything and everything was possible. The only thing missing at that time were the horses that had been such a constant beforehand, and I made up for the lack by volunteering at an endurance ride in Yakima in July. Little did I know how much that one decision would change my life.

I know I'm an extremely fortunate person, and love Thanksgiving for giving me pause to think about what in life I'm especially thankful for.

- Family. Without my family, I wouldn't be who/where I am today. Although mine isn't perfect, they're pretty darn close to being perfect for me. My parents have always been supportive of my dream, and have pushed me to strive for more in my life at all turns. My Mom instilled in me a fierce sense of preservation in what can sometimes still be a man's world. She taught me how to laugh in even difficult situations, and her passionate love for life is something I often find in myself. Her love for animals was an example I saw from a very early age and remember wondering why all our cats would follow her around the house just wanting to be near her, and why they didn't want the same with me (I think it had something to do with tail-pulling). My Dad instilled in me a sense of constant self-evaluation, whether it was emotionally, mentally or physically. He taught me that this sense I have of wondering when I'll ever "grow up" is one I should keep forever, as he's never lost the ability to act like a fool in any or all situations. He gave me the ability to see both sides of most situations to better be able to make decisions. He taught me about God and becoming the best person I can be. My brother taught me most about what it's like to love and be hurt. He's taught me most about forgiveness. My sister has kept me young--she's 12 years my junior and her trials and tribulations through middle and high school help keep that age fresh in my mind. It seemed like only yesterday I was going through the same ordeal, and am thankful I can [hopefully] give her a sense of perspective.

- Wayne. To me, he is the perfect partner for me. I am better because he is in my life, and I like to think he's better because I'm here. He has been my constant support and lifeline through school, always there to talk when I needed a better sense of perspective of someone to listen while I rant and rave. He gives me the space I need to make decisions and mistakes, and is always there to help when things don't go as planned. I can tell him anything and everything. We can have passionate debates about life and politics and kiss and make up at the end. He can (and will!) tell me when I'm being a jerk, but is always in my corner when things get bad. He is my biggest cheerleader, my biggest supporter, and my best friend.

- Friends. I have been extremely fortunate with friends, and every one has taught me something new about life and myself. I’m feeling a little sad about having to leave all the great friends I’ve made at school these past years, but am excited to be finally moving to Boise to have normal friendships with new friends.  I’ve formed new friendships and had friendships fall to the wayside during this time.  I’m going to miss everyone dearly, but must admit I’ll miss PJ especially.  I don’t know if he knows what an influence he’s had on me but it’s been quite profound.  He pushes me to the edge of my comfort zone on a regular basis, but does so with extreme patience and understanding.  Our treks into the Moscow Mountain wilderness are almost like a religion to me, and I love that we can just be quiet together and observe the beauty around us.  I like that he can be a grumpy old curmudgeon set in his ways, and still won’t admit that Jasper being barefoot is a good thing for him.  I like that he won’t change his mind about shoeing his horses, even though they all have fabulous feet.

- Me. I couldn't have accomplished any of the tremendous things I've done without myself. I've worked hard, made sacrifices, and will get to enjoy the benefits when I'm all finished. I'm not perfect, and never will be. However, I've learned very well from my mistakes in life and regularly reflect on how they've affected me. I talk too loud, laugh too much, and generally take life less seriously than most. I may not ever be as buff or skinny as I'd like, but find that every minute spent thinking about how unhappy I am with myself is a minute of my life wasted. I'm healthy, relatively fit, and can do any/everything I put my mind to. I love good cheese, good chocolate, great wine, good beer...the list goes on and on. I have my sight to admire the beauty in the world, my smell and taste to savor the delicious, my hearing and my sense of touch.

 - The Zoo.  Not a day goes by that one of the animals makes me laugh out loud with a really deep belly laugh.  Bongo has a tap-dancing routine at feeding time to make sure I know EXACTLY what it is he wants.  Sammy is always causing trouble with a big goofy smile on her face.  The goats running and jumping and twisting in the air when I come out in the morning to feed.  Callie knickers deeply and throatily when I open the door in the morning and evening for, you guessed it, feeding time.  Jasper stands blinking over the gate at me when he’s bored.  Onyx gets Jasper to move by backing up to him at mach 10 and double-barrels him repeatedly—Jasper usually responds by holding his head in the air and otherwise ignores him.  Momma cat runs around the house in the morning playing with invisible mice and regularly levitates at invisible ghouls and imagined attackers.  Frady’s favorite mood is annoyed and plays epic games of “Does this Bother You?”  Oscar makes the sliding shower door of our Boise house every morning when I get in the shower in Pullman (which is a curtain). 

 - Endurance.  When I was younger, I wanted to be a veterinarian that did hunter/jumper on the weekends and maybe dabbled a bit in dressage.  I figured when I graduated I’d get a nice warmblood and ride the local circuits on the weekends.  Boooorrrriing.  I’d heard of endurance on and of when I was younger, but it wasn’t until that summer of 2005 that I actually made the leap to attending a ride and seeing what it really was all about.  I remember leaving and warning Wayne there was a real risk I was going to come back loving the sport.  I was very right about that.  I think what I love most about the sport is the continuous advances in equine sport physiology and nutrition.  The better educated a rider is about how the horse actually works, the better off they are for doing the sport.  Everything about it fascinates me, and I feel so lucky to have been first introduced to barefoot horsekeeping because of my lack of finances to shoe (although I will admit from a VERY early age the idea of nailing steel on a flexible horse hoof made very little sense to me).  Eventually, I realized it was a following, and have since decided it’s the only way I will go whenever possible.

What is it you’re most thankful for?