Ready for 50 (er, 60)

With only two days until my first ACTUAL endurance ride, I'm having some mixed feelings.

1. Jasper is FIT. F. I. T. He finished the 25 last month and was not tired, he hasn't been tired with any of our training rides, and he's morphed from my sweet little horse of wintertime into a fire-breathing dragon.

2. I glued boots on last Saturday using Goober Glue and Gloves and am not sure what I think of the whole ordeal. He's right between a 2.5 and 2 Easyboot glove size, and I decided to go up a size and see what happens. Wayne reports to me (Jasper's in Boise and I'm finishing my last two weeks of school--ever--here in Pullman) that the boots make a squishing noise and water bubbles up from below. Not so sure I like the idea of his feet cooking in heavy downpour all week, but keep reminding myself that he stands in mud all winter and is fine.

3. I don't want to do the ride using Renegades. I like them just fine for shorter rides, but he wears a very large size and has a tendency to knock himself with the boots over longer distances. And he hasn't trained in them at all and the idea of that much weight at the end of his legs makes me uncomfortable. Especially for 60 miles.

4. I'm 300 miles away, and therefore can't have my usual Tuesday/Wednesday freak-out/meltdown before the ride. Last time it was because I found a little bump on a hind leg (turned out to be nothing). This time, I'm trying to freak out about the boots but keep being reassured they're just fine and we can do something about it on Friday worst case. Trying to leave that one alone.

5. At HOTR, Jasper started head-tossing. Not just a little bit, but big, chin-knocking, seat rattling head-tossing. He does it when we ride with another horse and he disagrees with how slow the pace is, but now that I know the trigger the only thing that makes me want to do is ride him with another horse at their pace EVEN MORE. I think he spent about 15 of the 25 miles of HOTR doing it, and with an S-hack, I was mostly powerless to stop it. I could sit deep and brace against it, which would shorten the duration of his fits, but as soon as he remembered how upset he was he'd start it all up again. It's exhausting and dangerous, and I took the easy way out and put him in a martingale and a bit. Again, not sure how I feel about the martingale. I feel like I'm cheating and my arms were aching after our last training ride last weekend. The amount of "pull" I have to put on that thing with Jasper yanking on the other end is amazing. The only thing I think it's accomplishing is; a) I'm not going to end up with a black eye while he wears it; and b) Jasper's learning to ignore me pulling constantly on the bit. So there's plusses and minuses. I'm at the end of my knowledge base of what to do, other than tire him out at a ride. Sigh.

6. I graduate in 10 days. 10 days!

7. I thought I was signing up for a 50, but found out yesterday it's actually a 60! I think Jasper is ready for either, and maybe the extra 10 miles will help take the wind out of his sails.

8. Ultimately, my worst fears for the ride aren't that Jasper will fall and break a leg, tie up, I'll fall off and die, etc etc. My worst fear of the ride is not being able to control Jasper when he sees those horses in front of him and wants to pass. HOTR freaked me out...a LOT. He was very calm at the beginning and once we started trotting morphed into competitive jerkface extraordinaire. We were stuck on a single track trail in a big group of people with the threat of horse-eating gopher holes all around us. When he trotted he was fine, but asking him to walk respectfully down hills he was dancing and prancing all over the place. Nothing freaks me out more than having a horse moving in directions other than forward, especially on tricky or treacherous terrain. Nothing. And Jasper has been known to dance and prance sideways off a 10 foot dropoff with me on board because I wouldn't let him go forward. Not good.

I'm also worried he's going to be such a freak I'm going to be too exhausted to finish, which would be very disappointing. I'm pretty tough, but I don't know how much of that crap I can handle mentally. I guess worst case we can pull away from our designated ride partner and go it alone until he calms down. But I hate hate HATE doing what the horse wants when it's not what's best for him. He needs to learn to be a gentleman in groups and alone no matter what.

Sometimes the thought of having to go through all this again with Onyx makes me tired. Heck, sometimes the thought of having to go through this with JASPER makes me tired.